Darlene and Kristi talk about self-compassion, why it’s important to talk about this around food, and some tools for implementing self-compassion in your own life.

Listen on your favorite podcast player. 

Show notes for episode 21: 

34 Days into Gov Shutdown – this article is interesting: (we are since past this, but still, crazy times!) Eat Like Your Pregnant

Definition of self-compassion:

Self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main components – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.[1

Self-compassion is different from self-pity, a state of mind or emotional response of a person believing to be a victim and lacking the confidence and competence to cope with an adverse situation.

Article in Mindfullness Magazine in February 2019 issue (article was taken from the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff  https://www.mindful.org/the-transformative-effects-of-mindful-self-compassion/

Self-compassion: Random Act of Kindness week Feb 11-17th – Be nice to yourself self-care Feb 7 record date (any time of the year)

How do we practice self-compassion?


Self Talk: Just in the moment: empathizing with yourself in those moments of anxiety, fear, doubt, panic or self-deprication. “I know that you’ve been having a hard time, I know that there’s a tightening in your chest. You are not alone. We’ll get through this.”

Write out a letter to yourself from a “friend” who is unconditionally wise, loving, and compassionate. Read it now or later.

Notes/writing: Notes of encouragement around the house (learned this from my mom – been doing it for years but I didn’t realize it was self-compassion. It was more in the vain of law of attraction/positive thinking)


Imagine a hug from yourself or even a conversation from your compassionate self to your current self.


A child that has the flu – the sympathy you would have for a child.

Parts work: https://majohnston.wordpress.com/working-with-our-inner-parts/

Also, do the “you/friend/acquaintance/enemy” visualization from Carolyn Elliott – you visualize yourself experiencing the best joy, the most excited, the happiest, and then repeat the visualization with a friend, with someone you know as an acquaintance, and then finally an enemy.

Carolyn Elliot was on Being Boss Podcast:


Food for thought:

Darlene says: self-compassion is different from self-pity because you believe you have the confidence and skills to do what you need to, it’s just being easy on yourself and empathizing that it’s hard, but not impossible.

Food Inspiration: Beans

Darlene: Beans – Using them as a main or a way to stretch meat – the instant pot makes them sooo good. Nachos ended up being on the menu.

Kristi: Black beans – “Yumm” bowls AKA buddha bowls. Or, black bean sweet potato tacos. And, chili. Especially this time of year with cornbread. Nachos.

What’s for dinner:

Kristi: Breakfast for dinner – but Kristi is going to incorporate black beans somehow. Going through the pantry + freezer. Stuck in a food rut. Eating the same thing over and over again.

Darlene: Chicken sandwiches, pho, Bahn mi, nachos. Chili-spiced pinto beans, burritos, lamb-sagna. This recipe with lamb!! http://picklejarstudios.com/five-lasagna-hacks-plus-the-best-lasagna-ever/

Where to find Darlene

Pickle Jar Studios website
Pickle Jar Studios on Instagram
Tough Cookie on Instagram

Where to find Kristi:    

kristi coughlin

Effectual Nutrition website
Effectual Nutrition on Instagram